Showing posts with label Funny Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Articles. Show all posts

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Biggest PJ Ever

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

One day a man comes out of the Bank and hires an Auto for his home.

The auto-driver charged him 100 rs, which is far far larger than the
actual charge, that is 10 rs. The man doesn't know the actual charge and
paid the money.

Now, the mystry begins from the very next morning when the man
awakes.

Suddenly he feels that it's still dark outside and the sun hasn't yet
shown its face. But soon he realise that it's not the case of sun but
he's
actually is not able to see. In short he's blind. He gets very
tensed doesn't know what to do. His entire day has passed with great
anxiety,proceeds, the man gradually starts regaining his eyesight
and he once again normal when it's completely dark out side. At this he is
completely confused and perplexed. He's very eager to know what's
the behind, but finds not a single proper reason for this.
, can you help him to find out the reason behind his sudden
blindness??











a bit :-(
















a bit more

















socho socho :scratch:














it's very simple :this:
















give one more try :scratch:

















hit your head on the wall :banghead:





















It's very simple
:banghead:












































AUTOWALE NE US AADMI KO ULLU BANAYA THA, got it?
:-( :-( :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :banghead: :banghead: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Ten Dollars Is Ten Dollars

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Edna would say, “I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, “Edna, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.” Edna replied, “Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”

The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”

Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

They land and the pilot turns to Fred, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”

Fred replied, “Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”

Smart Students

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

President Bush went to a school to interact with the children. After having
one brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any question to
ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up;
Bush: whats your name
John: john
Bush: whats your question?
John: Sir, I have three questions

1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is osama?
3) Why does America support Pakistan so much?

Bush: you are an intelligent student John....(just then the bell for recess
rang)
Oh! Dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we?
Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?

Peter raises his hand
Bush :Whats your name?
Peter : Sir,I am Peter. I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
4) Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time?
5) Where is JOHN?

10 things you don’t like to hear during surgery

Monday, March 17, 2008

I’ve just recently had a surgery for my right hand and I know how scary it feels just thinking about going under the knife. I had a good laugh reading this joke today. But seriously - these are 10 things that I surely don’t want to hear my doctor say…


* Has anyone seen my watch?


* Come back with that! Bad Dog!

* Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

* Hand me that… uh… thingy over there.

* What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!

* Damn, there go the lights again…

* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

* What do you mean, he’s not insured?

* Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Bay Watch”


And the number one thing I don’t want to her my doctor say during surgery…



* Oops!

Intresting Facts

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Saturday mail delivery, in Canada, was eliminated, by Canada Post, on February 1, 1969!

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car; for most trips of less than 50 minutes!

There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo!

Should there be a crash, Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane; as a precaution!

Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache, on a standard playing card!

There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!

There is one slot machine, in Las Vegas, for every eight inhabitants!

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion, in Renaissance Florence, to shave them off!

Every day, 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500!

The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces, after eating!

Tourists, visiting Iceland, should know that tipping, at a restaurant, is considered an insult!

One car out of every 230 made was stolen, last year!

The names of Popeye’s four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!

Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea were used as money; in Siberia!

The Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men, with their hands on each other’s shoulders!

When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second!

A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!

A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas, when idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile!

The Philadelphia mint produces 26 million pennies per day!

A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun’s surface!

A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!

It is estimated that 4 million “junk” telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine, were made, every day, in the United States!

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!

Almost half the newspapers, in the world, are published in the United States and Canada!

Stupid Question & Sharp Answer

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.



GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...



GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??



GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple



GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??



BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??



BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??



SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.



MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.



WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.



MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.



Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".



Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".



Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".



Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?



Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".



Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".



Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".



Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".



Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."



Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Conversation between Husband & Wife who are in Computer Field.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

This is a conversation between Husband & Wife who are in Computer Field.

HUSBAND: Hi Dear, I am logged in.

WIFE: Would you like to have some snacks?

HUSBAND: Hard disk full.

WIFE: Have you brought the saree?

HUSBAND: Bad command or file name.

WIFE: But I told you about it in the morning!

HUSBAND: Syntax error, abort, retry, cancel.

WIFE: HAE BHAGAWAN! Forget it, where's your salary?

HUSBAND: File in use, read only. try after some time.

WIFE: Atleast give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

HUSBAND: Sharing violation, access denied.

WIFE: I made a mistake in marrying you!

HUSBAND: Data type mismatch.

WIFE: You are useless!

HUSBAND: By default.

WIFE: Who was there with you in the car this morning?

HUSBAND: System unstable. Press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.

WIFE: What is my value in your life?

HUSBAND: Unknown virus detected.

WIFE: Do you love me or your computer?!

HUSBAND: Too many parameters.

WIFE: I will go to my dad's house!

HUSBAND: Program performed illegal operation, it will close.

WIFE: I will leave you forever!

HUSBAND: Close all programs and log out for another user.

WIFE: It's worthless talking to you!

HUSBAND: Shut down the computer.

WIFE: I am going!!!

HUSBAND: It is now safe to turn off your computer.

Sleeping Might Be Harmfull Sometimes

A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging
around pots and pans in the kitchens.
When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat
but, more importantly, is very upset about something.
"What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?"
"It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and it
worked!"
"Then what's the matter? Where there are a lot of bugs in it?"
"I took special pains to eliminate the bugs. It worked, and it worked
perfectly!"
"So what's wrong?"
"I was so tired when I finished, I decided to take a little nap, just for a
few minutes."
"Did you not sleep well? Did you have a nightmare?" the concerned wife
inquired.
"No, I slept perfectly well ... with my head on the backspace key."

Nine Words Women Use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying &*^$ YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

This is to all men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

How to marry a rich guy - Fantastic reply from a financial person

Monday, February 25, 2008

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I' m going to say here.
I' m 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I 'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annual
income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I 've met a few girls who doesn 't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Here 's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you 're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty " and "money " Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there ' s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can 't be prettier year after
year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.

It ' s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a " trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term ... same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or " lease" .

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.

I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.

This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps.

If you are interested in " leasing" services, do contact me signed,
J.P. Morgan

Note: JP Morgan is leading financial services firm with global scale and reach.

From a standpoint of separating fools from their money, it’s probably a fantastic idea.

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”


The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”



The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.


“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.


The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”


“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.



“Like what?” asked the bartender.


“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.


The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.


So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.



“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.


The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.


“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.



“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.


With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”


The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.



The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not even a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.


The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”


The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”

New words added to the English dictionary

Bucknor : (n) (adj)

1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.

2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.

Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.



Benson: (n) (adj)

1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.

Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.

Also see bucknor


Pontingity : [ pont in gi tee ]


possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards !!!

Usage: You cannot question my pontingity in the game.


Kumble: (1) Possession of strict adherence to the gentlemanly sport of cricket,

(2) extreme self-righteousness and pomposity


Eg. “Only one side was playing Kumble in this match”



& “India always plays Kumble because we are so Kumble.”


Harbhajan: The combined medical conditions of myopia and memory loss


Eg. “I thought he was a monkey not a man and I forgot that I had been told about this before. It’s not my fault, I have Harbhajan disease.


Tendulkar: to petulantly take your bat & ball and sulk your way home



Eg “Harbhajan is innocent and I suggest that if he is not cleared we do a tendulkar and get the f… out of here.”

Funny Accident Report Form

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Trying To Do The Job Alone

...one of the greatest comic texts of all time...

If you laugh, you have to tell a friend about this site. Don't forget!

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 of the accident reporting form, I put "trying to do the job alone" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient:

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the brick into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tight to insure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note, in block number 11 of the accident reporting form, that I weigh 135 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down. This explains the fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom broke out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately fifty pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in the accident reporting form, block number 11.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounted for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel six stories above me...I again lost my presence of mind...and let go of the rope!

General Interesting Facts

Thursday, February 7, 2008

  • No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
  • The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley's gum.
  • Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.

  • A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

  • The new 787 Boeing was revealed on 7/8/07 or July 8th, 07.

  • Every day is about 55 billionths of a second longer than the day before it

  • Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

  • Footprints of astronauts who landed on the moon should last at least 10 million years since the moon has no atmosphere.

  • The national orchestra of Monaco (a nation in Europe) has more individuals than its army.

  • Earthworms have five hearts

  • The Himalayan gogi berry contains, weight for weight, more iron than steak, more beta carotene than carrots, more vitamin C than oranges.

  • Fingerprints of koalas are similar (in pattern, shape and size) to the fingerprints of humans

  • Genetically-engineered babies were born first in 2001.

  • If an Amish man has a beard, he is married.

  • If a native Hawaiian woman places the flower on her right ear, she is available. (The bigger the flower, the more desperate)

  • Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

  • Pope Pius II wrote an erotic book "Historia de duobos amantibus" in 1444.

  • SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below

  • Pele has always hated his nickname, which he says sounds like "baby-talk in Portuguese".

  • As of 2006, 200 million blogs were left without updates
  • Urban birds have developed a short, fast "rap style" of singing, different from their rural counterparts.
  • The lion costume in the film Wizard of Oz was made from real lions.
  • Fathers tend to determine the height of their child, mothers their weight.
  • The Pope's been known to wear red Prada shoes.
  • Donald Rumsfeld was both the youngest and the oldest defense secretary in US history.
  • Coco Chanel started the trend for sun tans in 1923 when she got accidentally burnt on a cruise.
  • Up to 25% of hospital keyboards carry the MRSA infection.
  • In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
  • Ghandi didn't allow his wife to take penicillin to save her life from pneumonia but took quinine to save himself from malaria.
  • Sex workers (Prostitutes) in Roman times charged the equivalent price of eight glasses of red wine.
  • As of 2006, more than one in eight people in the United States show signs of addiction to the internet.
  • More than 90% of plane crashes have survivors.
  • The Mona Lisa used to hang on the wall of Napoleon’s bedroom.
  • Barbie's full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts.
  • Eating a packet of crisps a day is equivalent to drinking five liters of cooking oil a year.
  • Plant seeds that have been stored for more than 200 years can be coaxed into new life.
  • For every 10 successful attempts to climb Mount Everest there is one fatality. (As of 2006)
  • Watching television can act as a natural painkiller for children
  • Forty-one percent of English women have punched or kicked their partners, according to a study.
  • The more panels a football has - and therefore the more seams - the easier it is to control in the air.
  • Music can help reduce chronic pain by more than 20% and can alleviate depression by up to 25%.
  • The egg came first.
  • Modern teenagers are better behaved than their counterparts of 20 years ago, showing "less problematic behavior" involving sex, drugs and drink.
  • Britain is still paying off debts that predate the Napoleonic wars because it's cheaper to do so than buy back the bonds on which they are based.
  • In Bhutan government policy is based on Gross National Happiness; thus most street advertising is banned, as are tobacco and plastic bags.
  • The best-value consumer purchase in terms of the price and usage is an electric kettle.
  • Camel's milk, which is widely drunk in Arab countries, has 10 times more iron than cow's milk.
  • Iceland has the highest concentration of broadband users in the world.
  • Native Hawaiian women were not allowed to cook.
  • The age limit for marriage in France was, until recently, 15 for girls, but 18 for boys. The age for girls was raised to 18 in 2006.
  • The brain is soft and gelatinous - its consistency is something between jelly and cooked pasta.
  • The Himalayas cover one-tenth of the Earth's surface.
  • A "lost world" exists in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of hitherto unknown animal and plant species.
  • The two most famous actors who portrayed the “Marlboro Man” in the cigarette ads died of lung cancer.
  • All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

  • The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off.

  • Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

  • The first known marketer of the flushing toilet was Thomas Crapper.

  • The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.

  • The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

  • The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

  • The average American consumes 1.2 pounds of spider eggs a year and eat 2.5 pounds of insect parts a year. (This fact and the one prior to it have been judged as urban legends by many)

  • Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (Makes you think about ambidextrous people) This fact is based on a study that had errors in it, thus it might not be a fact.

  • Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won\'t be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after such a large amount.

  • Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.

  • The US national anthem actually has three verses, but everyone just knows the first one.

  • During World War II, IBM built counting machines the Nazis used to manage their death/concentration camps.

  • During World War II, the British Intelligence used the Colossus Machines (precursor to computers) at Bletchley Park to help decode the enigma code of the Nazis.

  • The first Computer was ENIAC, short for Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer, unveiled on February 14, 1946 (Thanks D.B. of AU)

  • The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.

  • The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led by a man who thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ.

  • Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of people every second. Almost 10 people more live on this Earth now, than before you finished reading this.

  • Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.

  • The number of people alive on earth right now is higher than the number of all the people that have died. Ever.

  • Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies

  • There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which you have probably never heard of.

  • Scientists have determined that fungi are more closely related to human beings and animals than to other plants.

  • In some (maybe all) Asian countries, the family name is written
    first and the individual name written second

  • Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860

  • A German World War II submarine was sunk due to malfunction of the toilet.

  • Washington State has the longest single beach in the United States.Long Beach, WA

  • The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.

  • The town of Los Angeles, California, was originally named "El Pueblo la Nuestra Senora de Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula"

  • 9 out of 10 people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.This isn't true; Joseph Swan did.

  • Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

  • The Population of the world can live within the state boundaries of Texas.

  • Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A.

  • Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter "e."

  • Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is not considered an insult! Despite the expensive food, tipping is welcome as in any other country.

  • The largest pumpkin weighed 377 pounds.

  • The largest cabbage weighed 144 pounds.

  • Pinocchio was made of pine.

  • Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery.

  • A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.

  • A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

  • Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit.

  • The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

  • Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.

  • New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states.

  • There was once a town in West Virginia called "6."

  • The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.

  • Napoleon made his battle plans in a sandbox.

  • Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator.

  • The green stuff on the occasional freak potato chip is chlorophyll.

  • Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.

  • There are 333 toilet paper squares on a toilet paper roll.

  • The Eiffel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it.

  • "Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish.

  • On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles.

  • Every minute in the U.S. six people turn 17.

  • Ten tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.

  • On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.

  • Blue and white are the most common school colors.

  • Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year.

  • In a normal lifetime an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat.

  • A new book is published every 13 minutes in America.

  • America's best selling ice cream flavor is vanilla.

  • Every year the sun loses 360 million tons.

  • Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe.

  • The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour.

  • The bulls-eye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground.

  • The doorbell was invented in 1831.

  • The electric shaver was patented on November 6, 1928.

  • Japan is the largest exporter of frog's legs.

  • There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty's crown.

  • Napoleon was terrified of cats.

  • The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint.

  • The typical American eats 263 eggs a year.

  • The parking meter was invented by C.C. Magee in 1935.

  • The oldest known vegetable is the pea.

  • Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes.

  • The avocado has the most calories of any fruit.

  • The first zoo in the USA was in Philadelphia.

  • France has the highest per capita consumption of cheese.

  • The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is "feedback."

  • The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states.

  • George Washington Carver invented peanut butter.

  • Iceland was the first country to legalize abortion in 1935.

  • The dumbest domesticated animal is the turkey.

  • Russia has the most movie theaters in the world.

  • The most fatal car accidents occur on Saturday.

  • The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps.

  • The mongoose was barred live entry into the U.S. in 1902.

  • Goldfish swallowing started at Harvard in 1939.

  • Dry fish food can make goldfish constipated.

  • The stall closest to the door in a bathroom is the cleanest, because it is the least used.

  • Toilet paper was invented in 1857.

  • Alaska could hold the 21 smallest States.

  • Before Prohibition, Schlitz Brewery owned more property in Chicago than anyone else, except the Catholic church.

  • If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

  • Kermit the Frog is left-handed.

  • Nondairy creamer is flammable.

  • The car in the foreground on the back of a $10 bill is a 1925 Hupmobile.

  • If you can see a rainbow you must have your back to the sun.

  • The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

  • It's rumored that sucking on a copper penny will cause a breathalyzer to read 0. Myth Busters on the Discovery Channel proved this wrong.

  • The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2, should always be written as QE2. QEII is the actual queen.

  • The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning to you," is "and the rest of the day to yourself."

  • Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.

  • When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home to a sellout crowd, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

  • Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is Number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.

  • When Saigon fell, the signal for all Americans to evacuate was Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" being played on the radio.

  • The pet ferret was domesticated more than 500 years before the house cat.

  • The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home, conceals a billiards room. In Jefferson's day, billiards were illegal in Virginia.

  • The most common speed limit sign in the United States is 25 m.p.h.

  • At any one time, there are 100 million phone conversations going on in the United States.

  • The world's record for continuous pogo stick jumping is 41 hours.

  • The Ottoman Empire once had seven emperors in seven months. They died of (in order): burning, choking, drowning, stabbing, heart failure, poisoning and being thrown from a horse.

  • You can make edible cheese from the milk of 24 different mammals.

  • Sir Isaac Newton, who invented Calculus, had trouble with names to the point where he would forget his brothers' names.

  • In medieval Thailand, they had moveable type printing presses. The type was made from baked oxen dung.

  • By law, employees do not have to wash hands after sneezing.

  • The average American consumes enough caffeine in one year to kill a horse.

  • More American workers (18%) call sick on Friday than any other day of the week. Tuesday has the lowest percent of absenteeism (11%).

  • Enough beer is poured every Saturday across America to fill the Orange Bowl.

  • A newborn expels its own body weight in waste every 60 hours.

  • Whales die if their echo system fails.

  • Florida's beaches lose 20 million cubic yards of sand annually.

  • Naturalists use marshmallows to lure alligators out of swamps.

  • It takes a ton of water to make a pound of refined sugar.

  • Weevils are more resistant to poisons in the morning than at night.

  • Cacao, the main ingredient of chocolate is the most pest-ridden tree in the jungle.

  • In deep space most lubricants will disappear.

  • America once issued a 5-cent bill.

  • The average person can live 11 days without water.

  • In 1221 the daughter of Genghis Khan ordered the killing of the entire population of the city of Nishapur (about 60,000) in one hour. The order came after her husband killing. (Moguls claim that 1.7 million were killed)

  • There are 35 million digestive glands in the stomach.

  • In 1800 on 50 cities on earth had a population of more than 100,000.

  • More steel in the US is used to make bottle caps than to manufacture automobile bodies.

  • It is possible for any American citizen to give whatever name he or she chooses to any unnamed mountain or hill in the United States.

  • King Henry III of France, Louis XVI of France and Napoleon all suffered from ailurophobia--fear of cats.

  • Before 1850 golf balls were made of leather and stuffed with feathers.

  • Clocks made before 1687 had only one hand, and hour hand.

  • The motto of the American people, "In God We Trust," was not adopted as the national slogan until 1956.

  • More Americans have died in automobile accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States.

  • The ampersand (&) was once a letter of the English alphabet.

  • The principality of Monaco consists of 370 acres.

  • There are more than 40,000 characters in Chinese script.

  • During the time of Peter the Great, any Russian man who had a beard was required to pay a special tax.

  • The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

  • Coca-Cola was originally green.

  • Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. treasury.

  • The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters (I was thankfully corrected by a friend: The Hawai'ian alphabet has 13 letters, A, E, I, O, U, H, K, L, M, N, P, W, ' (which is called an okina).

  • Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

  • The amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000.

  • City with the most Rolls Royces per capita: Hong Kong.

  • State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

  • Percentage of Africa that is wilderness--28%. Percentage of North America that is wilderness--38%.

  • Average number of days a German goes without washing his underwear: 7.

  • Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%.

  • Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man: 50%.

  • Cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of 11: $6,400.

  • Average people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

  • Average lifespan of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

  • The only President to win a Pulitzer Prize: John Kennedy for "Profiles in Courage."

  • The youngest Pope was 11 years old.

  • Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.

  • First novel ever written on a typewriter: "Tom Sawyer."

  • A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. (This was challenged and proved wrong by the TV show "Mythbusters")

  • The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

  • Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades--King David, Clubs--Alexander the Great, Hearts--Charlemagne and Diamonds--Julius Caesar.

  • If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one leg front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all 4 legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

  • Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

  • The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are useable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

  • The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

  • The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

  • The first airline, DELAG, was established on October 16, 1909, to carry passengers between German cities by Zeppelin airships. Up to November 1913, more than 34,000 people had used the service.

  • Titanic was running at 22 knots when she hit the iceberg

  • The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; '7' was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. 'UP' indicated the direction of the bubbles

  • Francis Scott Key was a young lawyer who wrote the poem, 'The Star Spangled Banner', after being inspired by watching the Americans fight off the British attack of Baltimore during the War of 1812. The poem became the words to the national anthem

  • Because radio waves travel at 186,000 miles per second and sound waves saunter at 700 miles per hour, a broadcast voice can be heard sooner 13,000 miles away than it can be heard at the back of the room in which it originated

  • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know your there

  • The bagpipe was originally made from the whole skin of a dead sheep
    Inventor Samuel Colt patented his revolver in 1836.

  • It has been recommended by dentists that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet (two meters) away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush!

  • In ancient Rome it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose

  • It is possible to drown and not die. Technically the term 'drowning' refers to the process of taking water into the lungs, not to death caused by that process.

  • The first known heart medicine was discovered in an English garden. In 1799, physician John Ferriar noted the effect of dried leaves of the common foxglove plant, digitalis purpurea, on heart action. Still used in heart medications, digitalis slows the pulse and increases the force of heart contractions and the amount of b lood pumped per heartbeat.

  • Dry cereal for breakfast was invented by John Henry Kellogg at the turn of the century

  • During World War II, a German U-boat was sunk by a truck. The U-boat in question attacked a convoy in the Atlantic and then rose to see the effect. The merchant ship it sank had material strapped to its deck including a fleet of trucks, one of which was thrown in the air by the explosion, landing on the U-boat and breaking its back

  • Jeremy Bentham, a British philosopher who died in 1832,left his entire estate to the London Hospital provided that his body be allowed to preside over its board meetings. His skeleton was clothed and fitted with a wax mask of his face. It was present at the meeting for 92 years.

  • Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.

  • Methane gas can often be seen bubbling up from the bottom of ponds. It is produced by the decomposition of dead plants and animals in the mud.
    There are more than 1,700 references to gems and precious stones in the King James translation of the Bible.

  • The E. Coli bacterium propels itself with a 'motor' only one-millionth of an inch in diameter, a thousand times smaller than the tiniest motors built to date by man. The rotation of the bacterial motor comes from a current of protons. The efficiency of the motor approaches 100 per cent.

  • Henry Ford produced the model T only in black because the black paint available at the time was the fastest to dry.

  • At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

  • Pet superstores now sell about 40 percent of all pet food

  • One million Americans, about 3,000 each day, take up smoking each year. Most of them are children.

  • In 1933, Mickey Mouse, an animated cartoon character, received 800,000 fan letters.

  • There are only four words in the English language which end in '-dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

  • If you attempted to count to stars in a galaxy at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all.

  • Less than 3% of Nestlé's sales are for chocolate.

  • The average person will spend two weeks over their lifetime waiting for the traffic light to change

  • More than 2500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products

  • It is estimated that at any one time, 0.7% of the world's population are drunk

  • The tip of a 1/3 inch long hour-hand on a wristwatch travels at 0.00000275 mph

  • Less than one per cent of the 500 Chinese cities have clean air, respiratory disease is China's leading cause of death.

  • The number of cars on the planet is increasing three times faster than the population growth

  • The X's that people sometimes put at the end of letters or notes to mean a kiss, actually started back in the 1000's when Lords would sign their names at the end of documents to other important people. It was originally a cross that they would kiss after signing to signify that they were faithful to God and their King. Over the years though, it slanted into the X

  • Nova Scotia is Latin for 'New Scotland.'

  • The collecting of Beer mats is called Tegestology.

  • Even though it is widely attributed to him Shakespeare never actually used the word 'gadzooks'.

  • Only 2 blue moons (the saying 'only once in a blue moon ' refers to the occurrence of two full moons during one calendar month) are to occur between now and 2001. Those times are January 1999 and March 1999

  • "Naked" means to be unprotected. "Nude" means unclothed

  • Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower', because in the time when al original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case stored smaller, 'lower case' letters
    In the 40's, the Bich pen was changed to Bic for fear that Americans would pronounce it 'Bitch.'

<>



From the book "Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose" by Joey Green.
Copyright 1995. Reprinted with permission.
For more alternative uses for products, visit www.wackyuses.com

I highly recommend visiting his Joey's site :-)

BOUNCE...the stuff you use in your dryer:

  • IT............. Repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

  • Eliminates static electricity from your television screen.

  • Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

  • Dissolves soap scum from shower doors. Clean with a used sheet of Bounce.

  • Freshens the air in your home. Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang one in the closet.

  • Prevents thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce to eliminate the static cling on the thread before sewing.

  • Eliminates static cling from pantyhose. Rub a damp, used sheet of Bounce over the hose.

  • Prevents musty suitcases. Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

  • Freshens the air in your car. Place a sheet of Bounce under the front sea

  • Cleans baked-on food from a cooking pan. Put a sheet in the pan, fill with water, let sit overnight and sponge clean. The anti-static agents apparently weaken the bond between the food and the pan while the fabric softening agents soften the baked-on food.

  • Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket. Collects cat hair. Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

  • Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

  • Wipes up sawdust from drilling or sandpapering. A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

  • Eliminates odors in dirty laundry. Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper

  • Deodorizes shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight so they'll smell great in the morning.

COCA COLA

  • Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl, Let the "real thing"sit for one hour, then flush clean

  • The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

  • To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca Cola.

  • To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

  • To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

  • To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.

  • It will also clean road haze from your windshield.



  • Lincoln and Kennedy

Here's a little part of US history which makes you go h-m-m-m:
Have a history teacher explain this if they can?

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born! in 1839. I was corrected on this and he was born on 1838
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Kennedy.' I was corrected on this and the theater was named Ford at the time of the assassination. Thanks H.!
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln.'
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.



Interesting Fact about the Pope John Paul II death

Pope was living 85 years - sum of those numbers = 13

Pope died on 2.04.2005 - sum of those numbers = 13

Pope died at 21.37 - again - sum is equal.... 13

13...that's Maria's number - only that time Holy Mother was showing herself to 3 children in Fatima

on 13th May 1981 - Pope was wounded and that time was saved by Holy Mother

on 13th Pope went to the hospital for the first time

on 13th died the last child of three from Fatima to whom Holy Mother showed up

Pope died on 02.04.2005 at 21.37.. add all those numbers....

2+4+2+5 = 13

2+1+3+7 = 13

13+13=26

26 years of pontificate......

Coincidence? or it had to be like this?

in the end......he died in 13th week of the year...and when you multiply the time of his death 21 x 37...you will have 777

Pope was living exactly 31 thousands days...if you reverse

figures...you will get again 13!!!



World Cup

Brazil last won the world cup in 1994. Before that they won it in 1970. Add 1970 and 1994, it equals 3964.

Germany last won in 1990. Before that they won in 1974. Add 1990 and 1974, it equals 3964.

Argentina last won the world cup in 1986. Before that they won it in 1978. Add 1978 and 1986, it equals 3964.

So going by this logic, The winner of the 2002 world cup is the same as the 3964 - 2002 = 1962 world cup. The 1962 world cup was won by Brazil. It was really Brazil who won!!!



Importance of Drinking Enough Water

  1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

  2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is
    often mistaken for hunger.

  3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

  4. One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.

  5. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

  6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

  7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen.

  8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.



Here is a list of what I thought very funny. I left it in the form that I received it.

  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.(Hardly seems worth it.)

  • If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

  • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
    to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

  • A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

  • A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

  • Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

  • The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

    • A mantis breeder has assured me that you preying mantis can copulate with the male's head still attached, even several times.

  • The flea can jump 350 times its body length. For a human, that would be equivalent to jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...lucky pig... can you imagine??)

  • The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

  • Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

  • Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

  • The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........won't go there.)

  • Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

  • A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

  • An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

  • Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

  • Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

  • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)


• Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on the moon.
• The 'You are here' arrow on a map is called the IDEO locator.
• MTV first aired at 12:01 AM on August 1, 1981. The first video was 'Video Killed the Radio Star' by the Bugles.
• There are more than 1,00 chemicals in a cup of coffee.
• The number of cars on the planet is increasing three times faster than the population growth

• At - 40 degrees Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.
• Pearls melt in vinegar.
• A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.
• Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.
• There is about 200 times more gold in the worlds oceans, than has been mined in our entire history.
• Hair and nails do not continue to grow after death. The skin recedes, making it appear to grow.
• Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.
• Termites eat wood twice as fast when listening to heavy metal music.
• The cockroach dies from radiation and would not survive a nuclear war.
• In the southern hemisphere, water always swirl anti-clockwise down into a pipe.
• About 8 million blood cells die in the human body every second, and the same number are born each second.
• Eighteen per cent of all global carbon dioxide emissions are from cars.
• Every year, the Moon moves a further 3.82cm from the Earth.
• It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.
• 35 meters of hair fiber is produced every day on the average adult scalp.
• Hair is the fastest growing tissue in the body, second only to bone marrow.
• Dolphins don't automatically breath; they have to tell themselves to do it.

•The term Cop comes from Constable on Patrol, which is a term used in England.
• Onions get their distinctive smell by soaking up sulfur from the
soil.
• Nobel Prize resulted from a late change in the will of Alfred Nobel, who did not want to be remembered as a propagator of violence-he invented dynamite.
• Whoopi Goldberg was a mortuary cosmetologist and a bricklayer before becoming an actress.
• Guinness Book Of Records holds the record for being the book most stolen from Public Libraries.
• Charlie Chaplin won third place in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest.
• Walt Disney named Mickey Mouse after Mickey Rooney, whose mother he dated for some time. Another story states that: Mickey mouse was not named after Mickey Rooney he was made on a train ride from New York after Walt found out he didn't actually own Oswald the lucky rabbit. The mouse Walt drew was originally named Mortimor But his wife Lilly didn't like that name so she suggested Mickey and the name stuck.

• Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn't wear pants.
• From 1942 until the end of World War II, Oscars were made out of plaster to conserve metal. After the war, the winners received "real" replacement statues.

• The only Oscar statuette ever made of wood was presented to Edgar Bergen in 1938 for his "outstanding comic creation," his ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy.

• A person afflicted with hexadectylism has six fingers or six toes on one or both hands and feet.
• Pamela Lee-Anderson is Canada's Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.
• Tokyo has had 24 recorded instances of people either killed or receiving serious skull fractures while bowing to each other with the traditional Japanese greeting.