How to marry a rich guy - Fantastic reply from a financial person

Monday, February 25, 2008

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I' m going to say here.
I' m 25 this year.
I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I 'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high.
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ), $250k annual
income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I 've met a few girls who doesn 't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Here 's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest.
Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you 're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty " and "money " Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there ' s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can 't be prettier year after

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset.

It ' s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a " trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term ... same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or " lease" .

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.

I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.

This has better chance than finding a rich fool. Hope this reply helps.

If you are interested in " leasing" services, do contact me signed,
J.P. Morgan

Note: JP Morgan is leading financial services firm with global scale and reach.

From a standpoint of separating fools from their money, it’s probably a fantastic idea.

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”

The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.

“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.

The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”

“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.

“Like what?” asked the bartender.

“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.

The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.

“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not even a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”

New words added to the English dictionary

Bucknor : (n) (adj)

1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.

2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.

Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)

1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.

Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.

Also see bucknor

Pontingity : [ pont in gi tee ]

possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards !!!

Usage: You cannot question my pontingity in the game.

Kumble: (1) Possession of strict adherence to the gentlemanly sport of cricket,

(2) extreme self-righteousness and pomposity

Eg. “Only one side was playing Kumble in this match”

& “India always plays Kumble because we are so Kumble.”

Harbhajan: The combined medical conditions of myopia and memory loss

Eg. “I thought he was a monkey not a man and I forgot that I had been told about this before. It’s not my fault, I have Harbhajan disease.

Tendulkar: to petulantly take your bat & ball and sulk your way home

Eg “Harbhajan is innocent and I suggest that if he is not cleared we do a tendulkar and get the f… out of here.”

Take a pic of you from your monitor screen


Hope dat you will be fyn.

just log on to

THANX..... waiting 4 comments